15 July 2008

Homo Sinister Temporarily Suspend Plans for World Domination

Cite lack of left-handed scissors

Bangalore - The group of left-handed mutant supermen recently classified by taxonomists as Homo Sinister are temporarily suspending their plans for world domination. The announcement was made from the sub-species global headquarters in one of the less densely populated sections of Bangalore by Lefty Perez, the group's leader.

"We realized that we are suffering from a severe shortage of left-handed scissors, can openers, bolt-action rifles, and -strung guitars. Until we can heal the crushed orbital bones and amass the appropriate office, kitchen and entertainment supplies, we are leaving the world in the incapable hands of the, uhm, wrong-handed dexterous majority," Perez stated. He further indicated that "once we have the ability to cut paper and open cans in sufficient numbers, the world will undergo a new renaissance of right-minded enlightenment."

Homo Sinister will be acquiring the needed goods through traditional purchasing channels, petty theft, and donations from relatives still trying to figure out just how Uncle Roger worked 'that damned thing'.

"We need those 'damned things' in great numbers," Perez indicated. "How are we to rule if our papers are all cut with rough edges?"
Post a Comment

Popular Posts